I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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