i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize