i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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