sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
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I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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