No stitches, just platelets and will power
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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