If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you win again, gameday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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