Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize