Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
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He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
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Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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