dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm always down for nudity.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize