I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
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He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
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I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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