Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize