It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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