i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a dog bed..
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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