The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
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I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize