What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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