No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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