i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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