It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
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had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
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You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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