If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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