Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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