I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
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his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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