Where did you get a picture of my penis
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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