you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
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I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
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All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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