He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
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and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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