his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize