I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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