I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize