glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
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Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
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I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
did i just pee glitter
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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