Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize