new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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