I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize