Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You may now shotgun with the bride
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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