Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize