Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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