Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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