My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
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she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
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Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
i think my cat just said my name.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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