oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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