WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize