I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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