yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize