you would pick up someone in the library
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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