I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
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He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize