you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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