Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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