I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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