I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize