We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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