It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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