dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
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Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
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I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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