We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
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He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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